What if......
by Amori Malee
Summary: What if you married Zel & Sylphiel? (NOT what it looks like, I'm strong Zel/Amelia, Gourry/Lina) ^_^


*Important info for story....This is from my website dedicated to The Slayers AND Sailor Moon ...I split myself into two people, Amori for the Sailor Moon side and Malee for The Slayers side.

Also, I'm abbreviating the names. Here's the List of characters:

L= Lina G=GourryA=AmoriM=MaleeZ=Zelgadiss

Am=Amelia X=XellosF=FilliaN=NagaS=Sylphiel

E=Everyone 

Ok, on with the story!!

*I DON'T own the slayers or ANY characters in this fanfic, except, of course for myself ^_^ both of me!

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M: Hi Hi all you peeps! Ya know, I've been wondering about something for awhile now, what would happen if you paired up two COMPLETELY different people together and married them off? What would life be like for them? Would it end in a divorce? Happily ever after? Or would one of the partners take matters into their own hands and kill the other one only to drag their body through the woods to some unknown little spot, burn it with a well placed fireball then skip off happily into the sunset? We may never know......But, this is how **I** think it would happen....and I'm going to share it with you now.....so, without further ado.....

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What would happen if Sylphiel and Zelgadiss were married?

M: Did you see it coming? Come on, be truthful!! ^_^

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A: O.o? What?!? NO NO NO!!

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M: What are you doing here?

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A: You CAN'T marry HIM to HER!!!

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M: This is MY side, I can do what I want!!

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A: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *falls to her knees dramatically*

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M: Excuse me folks, Amori just has a _little_ crush on Zelly-boy....

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A: *gasps* How could you tell them that?!?

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X: At least she doesn't have half-naked pictures of Gourry on her walls, eh?

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A&M: AAAUUUGGGGHHH!!! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!?!?

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X: Sore wa himitsu desu!

*both Amori and Malee promptly beat Xellos with their staffs*

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X: O.o? ow......

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L: Who has half-naked pictures of Gourry?

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M: Umm.....No one.......

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A: It's MALEE! She has a mmmph!

*Malee's hand over Amori's mouth*

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M: Shutup!!!

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Z: Like THAT didn't give it away.......

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M: YOU shutup too!!!

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A: Don't you yell at my Zelga-bunny!!! *glomps Zel's arm*

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Z: O.o? Zelga-bunny?

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E: O.o? Zelga-bunny?

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A: I've always LOVED that name.......

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E: *sweatdrop*

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Am: Ummm......So, whats going on again Ms. Malee? *ignoring Amori's glomping of Zelgadiss*

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M: Oh yeah, what would happen if Sylphiel and Zelgadiss were married?

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X: No we weren't, we were talking about you and your stalking Gourry...

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E: O.o? What?? 

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G: Stalking? She's darning me socks?

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L: *smacking Gourry upside the head* NO you jelly-fish brains!!

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S&M: DON'T hit GOURRY!! *the two look at eachother and then away*

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E: *eyebrows raised all around*

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Z: ANYWAYS! WHY do I have to be married to HER?!?! *trying not to look at Amelia*

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M: Oh, I suppose you'd rather be married to a certain Saillune princess?

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Z: *blush* *mumble* Whatever.....

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M: OK!! *sanps and Naga appears*

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N: OHOHOHOHO!!!

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E: O.o? AUGH!!!

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N: OHOHOHOHO! It is I, the great Naga the White Serpent!!

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Z: I thought you said a Saillune Princess!!!

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M: I DID!! SHE IS!!! *laughs evilly and is cut off by....*

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N: OHOHOHOHOH!! *is smacked down on the floor by Malee*

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M: You cut me off!!! *laughs evilly some more*

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A: NOOOO! SHE'S WORSE THAN LINA!!!

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L: What's THAT supposed to mean?

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A: *nervous laugh* Nothing........Eeps! *hides behind Zelgadiss*

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Am: O.o? Gracia?

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N: O.o? Amelia?

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Z: O.o? Amori?

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A: ^_^ yes Zelga-hunny-bunny?

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Z: Could you please MOVE YOUR HANDS!!!

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E: O.o?

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A: Ah........but their warm there!!!

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E: O.o?

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A: Ah, ok.........*removes her hands from Zel's a$$*

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X: Amori! I never knew you were so perverted!

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A: Shut up Namagomi!! Hey....I know what could keep you busy and away...*grins evilly*

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X: O.O you wouldn't!

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A: -_- wouldn't I? *snaps and Fillia appears*

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F: Huh? Where am I? I was having some tea....

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A: BIG shocker.....ANYways....Guess what Fillia! Xellos just said that Golden Dragons are all Hentai's and your the biggest one!

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F: O.O What?!?! *pulls out mace-sama and chases Xellos around* NAMAGOMI!!

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X: O.O Ack! *runs from Fillia*

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A: Ha Ha!!

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M: ANYways.....BACK TO MY STORY!!!

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L: Which was WHAT again?

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M: What if Zelgadiss and Sylphiel were married!

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N: What about me!?!?!?

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M: Um.....I'll put you in a Xellos and Naga Married one.....

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X: O.o? NOOOOOOOOO!!! *momentarilly distracted, Fillia catches him and beats him*

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A&M: Ha Ha!!!

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S: Why am I married to Mr. Zelgadiss?

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M: *shrugs* Why not?

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S: Well, why can't I be married to Gourry dear?

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Am: Yeah! Why can't she be married to Gourry?

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L: Shutup Amelia!

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Am: *whining* But WHY Ms. Lina! Why can't she!

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M: Cause I said so!!!

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Z: Well, THATS a good answer...

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M: SHUTUP!!

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A: YOU SHUTUP!!

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L: Why don't you BOTH shutup!!! *both Amori and Malee look at Lina*

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A: You better watch it Lina......

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M: Yeah, we know your weakness....

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L: *smirks* And what's that?

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A: This *snaps and a purple cat with a cresent moon on her forehead appears*

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E: O.o?

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Luna: Better hurry Sailor Moon, there's trouble!!!

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G: A talking cat?

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Am: With a bad English accent?

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A: Oops! Wrong one!!

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M: *sigh* you can't do ANY thing right.....

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A: Whatever....

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M: *snaps and Luna the cat disappears*

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A: Ok, let me try this again....*snaps and Luna, as in Lina's big sister appears*

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L: O.o! Ack!!!

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Luna: Why am I here? *Lina hides behind Gourry*

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A: Luna, Lina's been acting up...

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Luna: *evil grin* oh REAAALLLLY!

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L: I'LL BE GOOD!!! I'LL BE GOOD!!!

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A: *snaps and Luna disappears*

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L: Whew.......

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X: Hmmmm, that looks like fun! *snaps and Raye/Sailor Mars appears*

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E: O.o? Who's that?!?

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A: Raye? What are YOU doing here?

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Raye: I just LOVE the slayers! My favorite couples are Zel/Lina, Gourry/Sylphiel and Xellos/Amelia!!

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F,A,&M: O.o?!?! WHAT? YOU WEIRDO!!! *all pull out mace-samas*

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F: *stops and looks at Amori and Malee* Where'd you get those?

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A&M: *look at eachother then hide the maces behind their backs and look around innocently whistling like nothing happened*

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E: O.o?

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G: Where'd you hid them? You don't wear a dress like Fillia....

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M: Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^

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X: HEY! THATS COPYRIGHTED!!! *snaps and Raye disappears*

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A&M: SHUTUP!!

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X: YOU SHUTUP!!

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Z: why don't you all shutup?

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M: SHUT UP ZEL!

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A: YOU SHUTUP MALEE!!

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G: EVERYONE SHUTUP!!

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L: I'm not even TALKING!!

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Am: Could you all please stop yelling?

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S: Can't we all get along?

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F: SHUTUP!!

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X: Fillia, I never kn-

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A&M: SHUTUP HENTAI!!

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N: OHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!

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E: SHUTUP!!

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L~sama: _why don't you ALL shutup!!!_

E: O.o? *Xellos, Amori and Malee run and hide, all of the others are stupified*

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L~sama: _I've beens listening for awhile now and you guys are giving me a headache....and when the LORD OF-FREAKING-NIGHTMARES gets a headache theres HELL TO PAY!!!_

*Phibrezo appears out of nowhere*

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Phibby: Someone call?

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L~sama: _NO!!!_

Phibby: Oh ok! *disappears*

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L~sama: _Now, let me tell you how this works...._

Lina and Gourry! Married! Have......um, 5 kids! Live happily! Long life!

Amelia and Zelgadiss! Married! Have.....um, 4 kids! Rule Saillune Happily! Zel finds his cure!

Z: I do?

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L~sama:_ Um yeah, sorry about that by the way......_

ANYways......Xellos and Fillia! Married! Have 3 little demon dragons!

*Gaav appears out of nowhere*

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Gaav: You rang?

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L~sama: _NO!!!_

Gaav: Soooooorrrrryyyyy! Geesh....*disappears*

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F: O.o? Married?

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X: O.o? Demon Dragons?

*Gaav's voice out of nowhere "STOP CALLING ME!!!*

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N: What about me!!!

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L~sama: _I've decided that you'll NEVER procreate....I must have been DRINKING when you were born....._

A&M: *laugh hysterically*

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S: Um, what about me L~sama dear?

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L~sama: _ENOUGH with the "dear" crap!! Do I LOOK like a four-legged fury animal from the forest with horns?_

A: Um, we really can't see you Granny.....

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L~sama: _Oh, oh yeah......ANYways....You get OVER Gourry and live happily dedicated to being a shrine maiden._

S: Give up on Gourry de-, uh, Gourry?

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L~sama: **_YES! You figure it out about the third kid...*and* _ _Amori! Malee! Come here!!!!_**

A&M: *walk to where the voice is coming from* Yes Granny?

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L~sama: _I doom you to........._

A&M: *gulp*

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L~sama:_.....BABYSITTING Phibby and Valgaav every night for a month!!!_

A&M: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *Phibby and baby Valgaav, with drool and all, pop into the room*

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A&M: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

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L~sama: _*to reader* AND for YOU! Let this be a lesson to you! NO MORE zel/lina, zel/fillia, zel/naga, zel/xel, zel/gourry,_

*deep breath*

gourry/sylphiel, zel/sylphiel, lina/xel, amelia/xel, fillia/lina, gourry/amelia, gourry/xel, lina/sylphiel, sylphiel/xel, amelia/sylphiel

*another deep breath*

phil/lina, phil/gourry, phil/xel, phil/zel, phil/sylphiel, phil/fillia-- I mean, they NEVER MEET!!!! fillia/val-- HE'S A BABY FOR MY SAKE!!

*yet another deep breath*

gourry/self-insert, zel/self-insert, lina/self-insert, amelia/self-insert, gourry/zangy, gourry/martina, zel/zangy, gourry/naga, 

*one LAST deep breath*

AND NO BAD GUYS WITH GOOD GUYS!!! exception=fillia/xel

IT JUST DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!!!!

Any questions? Comment? Bomb threats? Send them to me, L~sama....and I'll ignore them!!! Cause I can!!! I'm GOD! MY WORD IS LAW......so there ^_^

Get it? Got it? Good.

The End

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